No matter how reassured to the contrary, working mums will always have that little unshakeable belief that the root of their child’s separation anxiety lies with their dual role as a worker and a mother.
Let me start off by stating, one more time, into those tired and cry-dented   ears, that separation anxiety is a common occurrence to all children between the ages of seven months to three years old, even if their mothers are not working mums and rarely even leave a room without them.

Separation anxiety usually begins between 7 and 10 months.  The starting point for all of these tears is their tentative grasp of object permanence.  Before the age of seven months a baby thinks that when Mummy walks away she disappears, she can’t be seen or heard any longer so she must no longer exist.  Ho hum, let’s get back to bashing toys together.  After this age they start to realise that although mum’s gone, she is still out there somewhere and  could still be hauled back to play by means most foul – the heart rendering sobs only a baby can produce!

Here are 3 ways to help you deal with separation anxiety:

1. Remind yourself that as a working mum, by leaving your child in the care of another, you are socialising your child. School applications often ask if your child has regular opportunities to socialise with other children. In other words, are they used to extending common courtesies to another child attempting to snatch their favourite toy out of their hands?  Can they share, take turns, be comforted by another adult other than yourself? As long as you are building self confidence in your child at home, and your child is attending a good care group or minder (which of course they will be because you researched it, visited it and look sneakily through the windows at every given chance) they will be gaining all these things in spades.

2. Get creative in your play. Help ease your baby through their anxiety by increasing the intensity of Peek-a Boo.  Each time you disappear, leave it for a little bit longer. This will help your baby to learn to relax, safe in the understanding that Mummy always returns, eventually.

3. At all times, especially the darkest, repeat the mantra ‘It is only a phase, it too will pass’.  Remember the incessant night feeds that drained you of any grip on reality and felt like it was forever?  Well, if your baby was anything like the majority, that period took up about 16 weeks and hopefully it’s hard to remember clearly now.  Or the first stages of weaning when your baby refused anything and everything, and your frustrations that your child was never going to eat anything – ever.  Well, hopefully that phase passed too, probably to the point that you can’t eat anything without a demanding little pointed finger and a determined grunt signalling that what is Mummy’s is mine!

I know it will feel hard to believe but this will pass too, you’ll be onto potty training in no time.